Tuesday, March 30, 2010

One Liners

Red Faction II
Squad of space marines blows stuff up real good.
Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
This can't be Wright!
Star Wars Battlefront
Battlefield 1942 with a Star Wars skin.

Monday, March 15, 2010

One Liners

Ben There, Dan That
Two wisecracking friends; A point-and-click adventure; Sam and Max cry foul.
God of War II
Greek gods demote him; A Spartan sides with Titans; Olympus threatened.
Assault Heroes
Tasty twin-stick tidbit.

Friday, March 12, 2010

One Liners

Mass Effect 2
Mordin. Awesome.
Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood
McCalling you out!
Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth
Miles to go.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

One Liners

Team Fortress 2
Rocket jumps! Turrets! And shoot the Medic.
Civilization IV
Ruthless conqueror; More fun than anything else; Gandhi surrenders.
Pinball FX
Floaty ball physics; Tables too small for play; Program gathers dust.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

One Liners

The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time
Every boy needs a fairy!
Return to Castle Wolfenstein
Naughty Nazi Necromancers.
Obscure: The Aftermath
Mmm mm that smell... Can't you smell that smell?
Jedi Outcast
Lightsabers and blasters are fun. FPS jumping puzzles are not.
Ace Combat 6: Fires of Liberation
Like every other Ace Combat, but prettier.
Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Collection
Black Knight!
Timesplitters: Future Perfect
Embrace the goofiness.
Advance Wars
Chibi kids go to war.
Nostalgia value only.
Silent Hill 4: The Room
Is that... blood... on that toy bunny's muzzle?

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

One Liners

Satisfying explosions vs. rage-inducing unskippable cutscenes.
Exciting races.
Battlestar Galactica
Not the Live Arcade one, the good one.
Skills for kills, agent, skills for kills.
Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures
Legos... Why'd it have to be Legos?
Puzzle Pirates
Tetris ahoy!
Star Ocean: Till The End of Time
What's this high fantasy doing in my sci-fi RPG?
Rally round, boys! Rally round!
Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness (for PS2)
I can use these PS2 controls, or chop off all my fingers? ... What? Hold on, I'm thinking...
Jedi Academy
Jedi High.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

One Liners

Galcon Fusion
RTS simplified, purified, intensified, addictified.
Jade Empire Limited Edition
Magic Kung Fu fighting to save the Empire.
Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter
Player pursues purloined president by messing up Mexico.
What if you could go back and do it over?
Persona 3 FES
How can we improve this hundred hour game? I know, let's add content!
Indigo Prophecy
It's what happens when game developers eat peyote halfway through producing a game.
Forza Motorsport 2
Race. Win. Acquire. Upgrade. Unlock. And no stinking license tests nor Kudos challenges.
GTA, but with mercenaries and North Korea.
Max Payne
Dyspeptic detective depopulates designer drug dealer demographic.
Perfect Dark
Corporations, A.I. and Gray Aliens, oh my.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

One Liners

Descent 3: Mercenary
Yes, Mr. Dravis.
Descent 3
Die, Dravis!
Serious Sam II
Serious Sam, prettified.
Bejeweled 2 Deluxe
Time-sink trance.
Too Human
Slide attack!
Namco Museum 50th Anniversary
Command and Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars
Kane is back, as are silly overacted cutscenes.
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
Star Wars Starfighter: Special Edition
Better than the prequel movies, though that's not saying much.
Eternal Sonata
Chopin's dying dream is a high-fantasy JRPG?

Monday, February 22, 2010

One Liners

Project Snowblind
One man army blows up Hong Kong real good.
Tomb Raider Underworld
Lara Croft blows up her own mansion??!!
Old West Painkiller.
Fallout Brotherhood of Steel
Diablo, Fallout style.
Fallout Tactics
Fallout with squads.
Half-Life: Source
Half-Life plus physics.
Halo 2
More Halo, but with pop-in and an abrupt ending.
Marvel Ultimate Alliance
Diablo, with superheroes.
Beautiful odyssey through Japanese mythology.
Universe at War: Earth Assault
Five-cornered fight between humans, aliens, AI robots, powerful ancient Earth-dwellers, and dodgy framerates.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

One Liners

Ridge Racer 6
Drifting into victory.
Phoenix Wright, Ace Attorney
Hob check shun!
Lost Odyssey
Dino-men vs. the pull-ring hat army.
Fable: The Lost Chapters
More fables.
Ridge Racer V
Understeers, understand?
Persona 4
Can we make this game any longer? Yes!
Prince of Persia 2008
Fun flowing free-running.
Fallout 3
Leave It to Beaver meets Mad Max.
Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories
Card combat craziness.
Banjo Kazooie
Gotta collect 'em all. Notes and jiggies and coins, oh my!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

XLink Kai, The PlayStation 2, And Gotchas

Recently I and a distant friend were trying to start a game of Project Snowblind on the PS2. We discovered that the Internet servers had been shut down long since. But the game supports LAN play, so we started looking for LAN-over-Internet solutions. At first we tried Hamachi, but discovered that nothing we could do with that tool would bridge our two LANs so that our PS2s could see each other. Next we tried XLink Kai. This we eventually got to work (and work well), but there are some gotchas which I'll list here for the benefit of others who may want to play PS2 LAN-enabled games over the Internet.
  1. As of this writing, XLink Kai version 7.4 does not work with PlayStation 2 consoles.

    Instead, install version The user interface is far more confusing, but it definitely works.

  2. Kai's instructions are misleading on a critical point. They say that to get Kai to recognize your console, you should search for a game to join. This is true enough, for games that get their network address when they search for a game.

    What actually happens is that when the console asks for an IP address from DHCP, XLink Kai assigns the address before the router can get to it. It's the point at which Kai assigns the console an address that it recognizes it.

    In the case of a game like Project Snowblind, the game connects to the network and asks for an IP address before the user makes a choice whether to host a game or search for one.

    So it's vital that Kai already be running when starting multiplayer on a PS2 game. It's easier to just reset the PS2 after starting Kai. This guarantees that Kai will be running whenever the console asks for an IP address.

It's also worth noting that I successfully ran Kai in Windows XP, which was running in a VirtualBox virtual machine set for bridged networking.

Hamachi And Console Gaming

I tried the other day to set up PlayStation 2 console gaming via Hamachi with a far-away friend. We could never get it to work.

Since game consoles cannot run Hamachi clients, we needed some method for bridging our LANs across Hamachi so that packets sent from one console would show up on the other LAN.

The first thing we tried was using Windows Bridging to connect both our real LANs to Hamachi's virtual one. Broadcasts and pings sent from one LAN did not show up on the other.

The second thing we did was to set up static routes from one LAN to the other across Hamachi, according to a document he found on the Hamachi wiki. Again, broadcasts and pings did not go, even when we turned off (briefly) our firewalls.

Since neither of these methods worked, we gave up on using Hamachi for console gaming, and turned to the dedicated solution: XLink Kai.

One Liners

Gateway II Homeworld
More Heechee clickee.
God of War: Chains of Olympus
Kratos is angry again. Who would've guessed?
Gears of War
Look out! Cliché overload!
Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3
Command and Conquer 3: Kane's Wrath
Kane saves face. Well, half.
R-Type Dimensions
Classic hardcore punishing shmup.
Silent Hill: Homecoming
Little Brother is watching you.
Enchanted Arms
Magic guns.
On The Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness: Episode 2
Perverted Produce Penetrators.
Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne
The Joy of Sax.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

One Liners

Tron 2.0
Disk? Oh, tech!
Tribes Vengeance
Fuel dump frenzy.
Half-Life 2: Deathmatch
Gordon Freeman was killed by a flying toilet.
Far Cry
Dr. Moreau's Deathmatch Delight.
Duke Nukem 3D
Damn, I'm looking pixellated.
Half-Life: Opposing Force
Yo Adrian!
Half-Life: Blue Shift
Alien: Oh no, it's a security guard! Run!
Physics geek defeats alien horde with crowbar.
Frederik Pohl's Gateway
Point. Click. Explore the Heechee universe.

Friday, February 12, 2010

One Liners

Soul food.
Lure of the Temptress
Pixel hunt.
Grand Theft Auto IV: The Lost and the Damned
Do not operate motorcycle with face contacting tire. Unless it's someone else's face.
Fallout 3: Operation Anchorage
Shoot Chinese soldier. Replenish ammo. Repeat until bored or finished.
Exit 2
Taking escapology to the next hundred levels.
X-COM: Terror from the Deep
UFO = Underwater Flying Object.
X-COM: UFO Defense
SHADO war.
Castle Crashers
Merry mayhem.
Beneath a Steel Sky
Grim tale set to cheerful music. Say what?
Unreal Tournament 2004
Run. Shoot. Kill. Die.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

One Liners

Halo Wars
They're everywhere!
Halo: Combat Evolved
FPS comfort gaming.
Empire Earth
Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?
Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri
Mindworms! Bzzt bzzt.
Age of Empires II Gold
Lift that barge. Tote that bale. Build that army. Invade that neighbor.
Duke Nukem 3D
Damn, I'm looking good.
Burnout 3: Takedown
Yes, officer, I do know how fast I was going. Road-blurringly, cheek-ripplingly, face-meltingly, doors-blowing-offly fast.
X-COM: Interceptor
Controls as awkward as a nerd's first date.
X-COM: Apocalypse
Unremarkable Steam sale filler.
Tomb Raider Underworld: Beneath the Ashes
Undiscovered ancient tomb beneath tomb raider's mansion? Well isn't that convenient.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

One Liners

Server still up. Multiplayer still fun.
Eat or be eaten.
Fallout 2
More mutant merriment.
War never changes. Humans, however, mutate.
Paper dolls vs. origami snakes.
Armagetron Advanced
MS Office apps ride light-bikes when they're not working... who knew?
Alien Hominid
The original Flash game. At least I can get groin-kicked for free with this version.
Tomb Raider Underworld: Lara's Shadow
Lara's more badass evil clone.
Prince of Persia: Epilogue
Doing my part to make the DLC problem worse.

Monday, February 08, 2010

One Liners

Alien Hominid HD
This game is hard. Hard. Did I say hard?
The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
More Riddick, but with guns.
Desktop Tower Defense
Dune 2000, but more boring.
Dead Space
I dismember you!
Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth
I'a Dagon!
Peggle Extreme
Half-Life 2 themed Peggle demo.
X-COM: Enforcer
What, I have to shoot some more aliens?
Mona the Assassin
Don't mess with Mona.
Half-Life 2: Lost Coast
Short tech demo.
Frozen Bubble
Bubble Bobble boosted.

Friday, February 05, 2010

One Liners

Titan Quest
Click. Click. Click click. Click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click click ...
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories
I have to drive how far to get to a save point?!
Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles
Rondo of Blood and Symphony of the Night, all in one convenient package.
Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars
Eco, Brown, or Spielberg? We'll see.
Project Gotham Racing 4
Kudos! Again.
Halo 3
Bad cyborg!
Bully: Scholarship Edition
Preppie pranksters.
The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay
The dark... My favorite.
Condemned 2: Bloodshot
Oil men.
Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts
If you build it, it will go.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

One Liners

Syberia II
More mechanical mystery.
Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow
Good PSP shooter. Yes. Good. Deal with it.
Speed Racer
Like WipEout, but with cars. And anime style talking head text balloons.
Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway
More Brothers in Arms.
Infinite Undiscovery
Infinite Unexcitement.
Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Pretty prequel.
Devil May Cry 4
No one can escape... the claw!
Medieval II Total War
Total strategy.
Rez HD
Trippy musical rail shooter. Great aiming system for consoles.
Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions
Not a new game; just FFT, portable.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

One Liners

Grand Theft Auto Vice City Stories PSP
Fun if you like GTA. I like GTA.
Star Wars Republic Commando
Cloning around.
Mirror's Edge
Parkour bliss. Shooting not so much.
Flatout 2
Demolition derby delight.
Battlefield 1942
Fun camping the enemy spawn point with a tank.
World in Conflict Complete
WW3 strategy.
Lost Planet: Extreme Condition
Giant ice bugs and mechs.
Fun Old West shooter/RPG.
Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars
A different perspective on GTA. Still GTA. Fun.
The Orange Box: Portal
The cake is a delicious lie.

Monday, February 01, 2010

One Liners

Civilization Revolution
Pure. Simple. Fun.
Bejeweled 2 Deluxe
Endless mode? Gem-matching trance.
Sins of a Solar Empire
Epic space battles.
Frontlines: Fuel of War
A game I play to escape everyday worries about politics, economics, the environment, dwindling energy supplies... oh wait...
Battlefield: Bad Company
"Hold the phone. Did you just say I can blow up anything?"
Tales of Vesperia
Pretty JRPG.
Heart-tugging protectiveness among lonely magnificence.
Guitar Hero 2
Rock out with the band. And practice.
Guitar Hero
Rock out with the band.
Fable II
Good dog!

Friday, January 29, 2010

More One-Liners

Mass Effect 2
What light through yonder window breaks?
Duke Nukem
Never Forever.
Sick. Dead.

Thursday, January 28, 2010


Screw the labels. One of the reasons I haven't been posting is that I have to spend too much time putting labels on, formatting my paragraphs, and so on. From now on this is like Twitter. I have a thought, I post it. No more writing entire "articles."

Silent Hill: Shattered Memories for PS2

Am I imagining things, or does this have worse graphics than Silent Hill 2, 3, and 4? And is anyone else getting lost when trying to run through the frozen nightmares?

Gamer's Diary - 2010-01-28

Been playing a little more. But it's been a while, so I'm going to keep it short and sweet. Here come one line impressions, two words when I can manage it. Thanks to The Digital Cowboys for the idea of doing it this way.

Shadow Complex
Finished twice.
Lego Batman
Batman. With Legos.
Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law
Funny superhero lawyer like Phoenix Wright.
The World Ends with You
Hipster RPG.
Tales of Monkey Island: Launch of the Screaming Narwhal
Funny pirates.
Rainbox Six Vegas 2
More RSV.
Battlefield 1943
Battlefield. Fun.
F.E.A.R. 2: Project Origin
More scary Alma.
Half-Life 2 and Episodes
Nth playthrough.
Brutal Legend
So Metal.
Red Faction: Guerrilla
Demolition fun.
Half-Life: Decay
Decay okay.
Half-Life PS2
Finished it (again) with keyboard and mouse.
Musical twin-stick shooter. Frantic fun.
Johnny Platform's Biscuit Romp
Funny platformer.
Sweet dreamworld timed puzzler.
Space Invaders Extreme
Space Invaders. Awesome update.
Saints Row 2
Mo gangsta.
Hitman: Codename 47
Frustrating controls.
Occult Nazi experiments gone wrong.
Halo 3: ODST
Chiefless Halo.
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Gargoyle predator.
Descent 2
Fun multiplayer deathmatch.
Frantic multiplayer deathmatch.
Gravity-bending multiplayer plus portals.
Quake 3
Hilarious Catch The Chicken multiplayer mod.
Star Trek Elite Force 2
Multiplayer: Set phasers to frag.
Team Fortress 2
Awesomely fun class-based shooter.
Diablo evolved.
Patapon 2
The rhythm is gonna get ya.
World of Goo
Very goo(d) phyics puzzler
Giants Citizen Kabuto
Funny game, ugly graphics.
Red Dead Revolver
Old West gunfighter fun.
Silent Hill Origins
Another Silent Hill creep-out.
Just Cause
Superspy GTA Banana Republic.
The Maw
Cute ever-growing planet-eating blob.
Assassin's Creed II
Way better than I.
Blast Off!
Gravity physics puzzler.
Nifty Escher-ish puzzler.
Lost Planet Colonies Edition (Xbox 360)
Performs better than on PC.
Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords (Xbox 360)
RPG + Bejeweled = videogame abuse problem.
Bejeweled 2 (Pocket PC)
Endless Mode? Endless amusement.
Charming robot point-and-click adventure.
Puzzle Quest: Galactrix
Sci-Fi RPG + no-gravity Bejeweled = just one more battle!
Elite Beat Agents
Super fun super silly rhythm game.
IL-2 Sturmovik: Birds of Prey
Hardcore flight sim, arcade fun, you pick.
No Gravity: The Plague of Mind
Very like Colony Wars.
Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords (PSP)
Mobile videogame abuse problem.
Twisty word finder.
Jump, dammit!
Miner Dig Deep
Dig dug homage.
Vandal Hearts: Flames of Justice
Turn-based tactical RPG comfort food.
Portal: Still Alive
Still awesome.
Saints Row
Original gangsta.
Silent Hill: Shattered Memories
Run? Run where?
Mass Effect 2
Two terrific!
Astraware Sudoku
Sudoku. So?
Gran Turismo PSP
Gotta drive 'em all.